The Confessional
I have a confession to make. I watch America's Next Top Model. And I looooove it. But God help me if I know why. It's about so many things I despise - young, bitchy, egotistical, skinny chicks bickering with each other and competing to be models, for crying out loud. On television. Why do I like this?? I don't even like Tyra Banks. (But that's probably because an ex of mine has a total thing for her, and, well, there's just no competing with that.)
Okay, so, really now, why DO I like the show? One, it's a (quasi) reality (game) show - that's my Achilles heel, or one of them anyway, right there. Two, it has nothing to do with sex (yes, yes, I know, the whole modeling industry is about sex) - at least not sex as a weapon, or as a plot, or as a source of conflict. (Which is why I refused to watch Temptation Island, for example.) Three, it's not really about people being mean to each other. Sure the girls are bitchy and say some downright cruel things about (and to) their fellow contestants, but that's just window dressing. Four, it's not about tearing people down for their own good, a la American Idol. (Girls tear each other down perfectly well on their own, thankyouverymuch.) And five... that mystery factor.. that little something that makes it totally irresistable. I don't know what it is, but it seems like the show has a little smirking undercurrent to it, even as it's supposed to be taking itself seriously. (C'mon, it's a show about modeling after all.) I love how it's supposed to be about America's next top model, but yet Tyra is *everywhere* - in film clips, in photo montages.. even the eliminations are done under a giant Tyra portrait every week. And I love how Tyra manages to make every single comment, issue or topic end up being about her. It's amazing. It's her own personal dollhouse, universe, something. And I can't stop watching it.
I got hooked on it completely by accident. The TV was on to something else, and then came on afterwards when I wasn't paying attention. Next time I looked up, the models du jour were being tested on how well they could accessorize their little black dress in 60 seconds or less. Is there anything less "me" than that? (Well, maybe WWF/WWE/whatever the hell it is now - I would rather not have TV at all ever again than have to sit through any of that crap). But yeah, so I saw that, and my first reaction was utter disgust and horror. Watching sorority bimbos play dress-up and get JUDGED for it. And THEN they had to explain why they chose what they did! Like, oh my god! Can you believe..? Isn't this the coolest test EVERRR? And it's so hard! I'm so nervous! And, like, how these earrings? They're, like, totally round? You know? And I thought that, like, it represented the EARTH, and, cuz, like, I'm a member of the Earth, and, like, modeling is about making the whole world a better place? Right? And because they make me look totally hot and black is the new brown?
....Yeaaaahhhhhhh. Again, not what I ever would have imagined as the way to pique MY interest. But it sure made me talk about it to other people, if only to relate my utter shock at what I'd seen being displayed as "television". And then of course, I had to watch the next week to see what outrageously inane things the bimbos would have to do next! And then... it was.. too late. Muahahaha. (Oh, and I just love that I'm usually eating when I watch the show. The irony is delicious.)
What a wonderful world we live in where Tyra Banks can make lil ol' sarcastoid ME care about the fate of walking, talking, (but not necessarily thinking) Barbie dolls. My favorite contestant yet was the skinny about-to-be-med-student from season 1 - the only one yet who's had true intelligence, and who seemed like she was doing it just to see if she could fool them into thinking she really wanted to be a model. And damn if that girl didn't make it to the final 3.**
Okay, enough of that. It's also a wonderful world because there are things like the Lamborghini Diablo in it. There was one parked across the street from my office when I went to lunch today. (Yellow). I'd never seen one before, and had to ask someone what it was. (My knowledge of fancy sports cars is somewhat limited...) I don't understand cars like that, but they sure are something else, aren't they?
- Joan
** Family members - you should notice a certain echo here, perhaps about why your daughter/little sister rushed a sorority mostly to see if she could fool them into letting her in (and it worked)? That's right - your sister CAN fake it (and can fake it damn well if she does say so herself) but she chooses not to most of the time...
Okay, so, really now, why DO I like the show? One, it's a (quasi) reality (game) show - that's my Achilles heel, or one of them anyway, right there. Two, it has nothing to do with sex (yes, yes, I know, the whole modeling industry is about sex) - at least not sex as a weapon, or as a plot, or as a source of conflict. (Which is why I refused to watch Temptation Island, for example.) Three, it's not really about people being mean to each other. Sure the girls are bitchy and say some downright cruel things about (and to) their fellow contestants, but that's just window dressing. Four, it's not about tearing people down for their own good, a la American Idol. (Girls tear each other down perfectly well on their own, thankyouverymuch.) And five... that mystery factor.. that little something that makes it totally irresistable. I don't know what it is, but it seems like the show has a little smirking undercurrent to it, even as it's supposed to be taking itself seriously. (C'mon, it's a show about modeling after all.) I love how it's supposed to be about America's next top model, but yet Tyra is *everywhere* - in film clips, in photo montages.. even the eliminations are done under a giant Tyra portrait every week. And I love how Tyra manages to make every single comment, issue or topic end up being about her. It's amazing. It's her own personal dollhouse, universe, something. And I can't stop watching it.
I got hooked on it completely by accident. The TV was on to something else, and then came on afterwards when I wasn't paying attention. Next time I looked up, the models du jour were being tested on how well they could accessorize their little black dress in 60 seconds or less. Is there anything less "me" than that? (Well, maybe WWF/WWE/whatever the hell it is now - I would rather not have TV at all ever again than have to sit through any of that crap). But yeah, so I saw that, and my first reaction was utter disgust and horror. Watching sorority bimbos play dress-up and get JUDGED for it. And THEN they had to explain why they chose what they did! Like, oh my god! Can you believe..? Isn't this the coolest test EVERRR? And it's so hard! I'm so nervous! And, like, how these earrings? They're, like, totally round? You know? And I thought that, like, it represented the EARTH, and, cuz, like, I'm a member of the Earth, and, like, modeling is about making the whole world a better place? Right? And because they make me look totally hot and black is the new brown?
....Yeaaaahhhhhhh. Again, not what I ever would have imagined as the way to pique MY interest. But it sure made me talk about it to other people, if only to relate my utter shock at what I'd seen being displayed as "television". And then of course, I had to watch the next week to see what outrageously inane things the bimbos would have to do next! And then... it was.. too late. Muahahaha. (Oh, and I just love that I'm usually eating when I watch the show. The irony is delicious.)
What a wonderful world we live in where Tyra Banks can make lil ol' sarcastoid ME care about the fate of walking, talking, (but not necessarily thinking) Barbie dolls. My favorite contestant yet was the skinny about-to-be-med-student from season 1 - the only one yet who's had true intelligence, and who seemed like she was doing it just to see if she could fool them into thinking she really wanted to be a model. And damn if that girl didn't make it to the final 3.**
Okay, enough of that. It's also a wonderful world because there are things like the Lamborghini Diablo in it. There was one parked across the street from my office when I went to lunch today. (Yellow). I'd never seen one before, and had to ask someone what it was. (My knowledge of fancy sports cars is somewhat limited...) I don't understand cars like that, but they sure are something else, aren't they?
- Joan
** Family members - you should notice a certain echo here, perhaps about why your daughter/little sister rushed a sorority mostly to see if she could fool them into letting her in (and it worked)? That's right - your sister CAN fake it (and can fake it damn well if she does say so herself) but she chooses not to most of the time...
posted by Call Me Joan @ 9:20 PM
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